so hit yourself until your knuckles are bruised, i can see you've made yourself your own punching bag. it doesn't hurt to show a little remorse, but for you it always feels like a bloodbath. if it's true that you get what you give it would make sense that trying to give you hope is pointless. all you touch always crumbles to dust it's no wonder that no one will follow your footsteps. a list of goals from a month ago not one of them completed. i'll never amount so i just cross them out to make sure they'll never happen so when you check up on me you'll see that i am failing and then me and you will be able to relate just like new won't we? why can't i just cut you out of my life? it's like i really want to see you suffer. but even if i gave you another shot it would just be another form of torture. and although no one knows how to burn out and decompose as well as you i'll do it better and hope that you know that i wrote this in code, but you'd be better off studying a mirror. if everything you've turned out to be were written out succinctly i'd call it the guide to how to wreck your life and print a thousand copies and pass them out and spread your story around, and one day you will thank me for making it so that you led someone to warn everyone that they're going to die lonely. it's nice to know that you don't want to patch things up because i don't either. we'll go on ahead like nothing happened but i'm still so bitter. i wish you wouldn't drive so fast, it makes me think you're gonna die in a car crash. i know i shouldn't talk like that. you'll probably die of something dull like a heart attack, or die of embarrassment, but until then i will run barbed wire across the side of the bridge to prevent you from trying to jump from it. even with cut-up skin you will be able to swim, you'll make it out in tact, you will continue to live. everything i hate about myself reminds me of you. in the end i will reject what it comes down to; that i should set it all aside and get over it and forgive you. i think i'll forget you.