do you remember when we would park on the rest stops on the midcape? and be completely quiet as cars came closer, and listen as they drove away? could all the days those years held somehow fix you up/save you from yourself? all the times you and i would talk all night enter my mind when your life flashes before my eyes. i heard you got better. i hope you really recover. you said check out "diary" so i got it and it changed me. we poured our hearts into our band, loud fast and short-lived as planned. we used to beat on our equipment. now you beat up all my friends. well your tough-guy stance was no more when your mother called me the last night we made eye-contact to let me know you made it home. i bet you couldn't wait to waste away in your room alone. i heard you got better. i hope you really do recover. lately i've been to thinking the chances of that happening are only shrinking. lately i've been to thinking the chances of that happening are next to nothing. but we can't do anything now. i'll run the next time i see you around town. and you will show up at my house. like every other time you'll tear me down. but it should come as no surprise. you were only the first one of a long line of friends to meet their demise. and for the first time i feel done trying to find life in someone where there simply is none.